Week Three: Triggered
Hey, guys, welcome back to another blog post!
The story for this week actually happened recently (during the second half of my freshman year), but, before I hop into it, I'll have to provide a slightly more embarrassing backstory.
So you'll get two stories in one post (one of which I'd refused to think about for roughly a year, resulting in a little fogginess upon recovery, but I'll share what I remember)! 😄
Flashback (Senior Year in High School):
I always wanted to impress the difficult ones.
My Human Relations teacher, Ms. "Halsey", was notorious for being strict with her students, so, naturally, I was always on my best behavior in her class. I'd be the perfect student and I'd get her to like me. After all, that is the way of the good noodle. And I was successful.
Still, it costs to heighten teachers' expectations, or anyone's expectations in general, especially in high school. You end up becoming the role model. You're expected to know all the answers to everything all the time and do profoundly well on every assignment.
One day, however, I decided I just didn't feel like working so hard. I didn't really have an excuse besides, like, senioritis. I don't know.
We were put into groups and had to do something along the lines of analyzing term definitions and using those terms in sentences. I remember the class had been struggling quite a bit, so I eventually came up with a sentence that I was somewhat proud of (this might be a good time to mention that the sentence involved a topic I was sensitive about). So when Ms. Halsey approached our group, I'd volunteered to read it.
Now, I don't actually remember the sentence because of how far down I had buried the memory, but I sure as hell remember what happened afterwards:
". . ."
"...What was that?!"
"That was terrible!"
"I expected more from you!"
"What made you think it'd even be okay for you to read that?"
"Come on, guys. You have to admit, that was pretty bad."
"I'm honestly disappointed."
"Do it again."
(Some of these quotes were repeated multiple times, but I thought I'd spare you the redundancy.)
. . .
That is not how you talk to a good noodle.
After a while I couldn't even look at her, so I just kind of nodded silently and stared into space while she chewed me out for my horridly subpar work and...long story short, I started crying.
I think she might have felt bad once she realized I had actually gotten upset, because she started talking about how she was normally very pleased with my work and was simply used to me doing a better job, but that just made it worse.
You can probably imagine why that memory was killed.
One year later...
I had just reconnected with an old friend of mine from high school and decided to invite him out to eat with some of my new friends.
It was a great time, the conversations were hilarious, and everyone was happily getting to know each other. Then, I have no idea how it happened, but someone said something that had sent everything flooding back and I remember just staring at the wall. According to my friends, the expression on my face had been some twisted combination of horror and shock.
I wish I was exaggerating.
My old friend was startled out of whatever he was saying and was like, "What?? What is it??" And I just kind of laughed it off and said I had just remembered something I hadn't thought of in a long time.
No one was satisfied by that answer.
I started explaining, filling them in on the teacher (whom, to my delight, my old friend had actually hated) and the assignment, laughing the whole time. But then, I had gotten to the part where she was yelling at me, and when I began repeating the words she'd said to me...my laughing turned into sobbing.
Right there in Qdoba.
In the middle of the day.
Naturally, the laughter died down once everyone noticed the abrupt change in atmosphere, and a nice, awkward silence descended upon the table, just like the year before.
And then I laughed at the fact that I'd started crying in front of them and no one really knew what to say.
Honestly, you had to be there. It was a great time. :)))))
*cue unfitting, uplifting music*
So that was this week's story! Finally, after three posts, I'm actually starting to feel a little exposed...😅
This topic was partially a response to those who told me to crank up the cringe, although I may have gone a little overboard and crossed into the realms of pitiful. I hope you're all happy.
Anyway, stay tuned because there are still three more not-great experiences to be divulged 😃
And don't forget to drop a like, comment and subscribe ;)
See ya!
The story for this week actually happened recently (during the second half of my freshman year), but, before I hop into it, I'll have to provide a slightly more embarrassing backstory.
So you'll get two stories in one post (one of which I'd refused to think about for roughly a year, resulting in a little fogginess upon recovery, but I'll share what I remember)! 😄
Flashback (Senior Year in High School):
I always wanted to impress the difficult ones.
My Human Relations teacher, Ms. "Halsey", was notorious for being strict with her students, so, naturally, I was always on my best behavior in her class. I'd be the perfect student and I'd get her to like me. After all, that is the way of the good noodle. And I was successful.
Still, it costs to heighten teachers' expectations, or anyone's expectations in general, especially in high school. You end up becoming the role model. You're expected to know all the answers to everything all the time and do profoundly well on every assignment.
One day, however, I decided I just didn't feel like working so hard. I didn't really have an excuse besides, like, senioritis. I don't know.
We were put into groups and had to do something along the lines of analyzing term definitions and using those terms in sentences. I remember the class had been struggling quite a bit, so I eventually came up with a sentence that I was somewhat proud of (this might be a good time to mention that the sentence involved a topic I was sensitive about). So when Ms. Halsey approached our group, I'd volunteered to read it.
Now, I don't actually remember the sentence because of how far down I had buried the memory, but I sure as hell remember what happened afterwards:
". . ."
"...What was that?!"
"That was terrible!"
"I expected more from you!"
"What made you think it'd even be okay for you to read that?"
"Come on, guys. You have to admit, that was pretty bad."
"I'm honestly disappointed."
"Do it again."
(Some of these quotes were repeated multiple times, but I thought I'd spare you the redundancy.)
. . .
That is not how you talk to a good noodle.
After a while I couldn't even look at her, so I just kind of nodded silently and stared into space while she chewed me out for my horridly subpar work and...long story short, I started crying.
I think she might have felt bad once she realized I had actually gotten upset, because she started talking about how she was normally very pleased with my work and was simply used to me doing a better job, but that just made it worse.
You can probably imagine why that memory was killed.
One year later...
I had just reconnected with an old friend of mine from high school and decided to invite him out to eat with some of my new friends.
It was a great time, the conversations were hilarious, and everyone was happily getting to know each other. Then, I have no idea how it happened, but someone said something that had sent everything flooding back and I remember just staring at the wall. According to my friends, the expression on my face had been some twisted combination of horror and shock.
I wish I was exaggerating.
My old friend was startled out of whatever he was saying and was like, "What?? What is it??" And I just kind of laughed it off and said I had just remembered something I hadn't thought of in a long time.
No one was satisfied by that answer.
I started explaining, filling them in on the teacher (whom, to my delight, my old friend had actually hated) and the assignment, laughing the whole time. But then, I had gotten to the part where she was yelling at me, and when I began repeating the words she'd said to me...my laughing turned into sobbing.
Right there in Qdoba.
In the middle of the day.
Naturally, the laughter died down once everyone noticed the abrupt change in atmosphere, and a nice, awkward silence descended upon the table, just like the year before.
And then I laughed at the fact that I'd started crying in front of them and no one really knew what to say.
Honestly, you had to be there. It was a great time. :)))))
*cue unfitting, uplifting music*
So that was this week's story! Finally, after three posts, I'm actually starting to feel a little exposed...😅
This topic was partially a response to those who told me to crank up the cringe, although I may have gone a little overboard and crossed into the realms of pitiful. I hope you're all happy.
Anyway, stay tuned because there are still three more not-great experiences to be divulged 😃
And don't forget to drop a like, comment and subscribe ;)
See ya!
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