Week One: Introduction and Failure
Hello, people across the nations!
Welcome to a 6-week challenge I've created where I basically force myself to relive some of the cringiest moments of my life that I haven't blocked out permanently, although I could probably find blocked ones as well if I really dig.
I'd like to believe I started this blog in an attempt to reassure myself and others that humiliation is not always as horrible as we may think it is. I, for one, experience it everyday in different degrees, usually in the form of brief awkward moments, but, occasionally, I end up mentally scarred. My main goal with this challenge, however, is to encourage people to feel less shame (because feeling no shame is a bit of a stretch) when it comes to making fools of themselves, and I am willing to sacrifice a portion of my dignity for the cause. So, without further ado, I present to thee...
"A Failed Attempt at Summer Romance <3"
I often pick unfit times to be bold.
The summer of 2013 was a transitional period for me, both academically and personally. There were many changes I'd wished to make in my life, but above almost everything else, I just wanted to do something exciting. I wanted to have a story to tell, and the perfect opportunity had presented itself to me during a family reunion in Florida.
It all started with this cousin I have, whom I will refer to as Ed. He's a little less than a year younger than me, but much more confident and daring (the difference between us is not as drastic now, but he still wins).
We traditionally hang out about 90 percent of the time during these reunions and, on the first day of this particular reunion, we decided to head to the beach. It seemed like a great plan because 1) I wanted to swim in the ocean and 2) lots of people go to the beach. Being a 15-year-old who had never really dated anyone or been in a relationship (I refuse to count that two-week thing from sixth grade), I had this radical idea: I should flirt with a stranger today. After all, the closest I had ever come to accomplishing this goal was making extended eye contact with a person through a window (from the inside of a building).
...It was not as awkward as it may have sounded just now, by the way.
Anyway, my expectations for myself were unrealistically high when we first got there:
-Find someone
-Get to know them
-Hang out for the rest of the day
-Exchange numbers
Sounds simple enough, right?
Maybe in a world where good things happen to me.
I had honestly forgotten about my personal challenge for the first hour and a half, completely distracted by the water. It wasn't until my cousin and I moved closer to the shore that I began casually observing people on the beach. After a while, three teenagers (a girl and two boys, to be specific) caught my attention. I remember one of the two guys being...quite good-looking...
...and suddenly was reminded of my secret mission from earlier.
I decided to nonchalantly bring it up to Ed.
"Wow, that guy is really attractive."
Ed encourages me to "go talk to him."
Lol, no.
The cowardice had kicked in at this point, so I refused over and over as he egged me on for a good fifteen minutes before losing interest. I was kind of disappointed after he gave up --and eventually forgot I even mentioned the guy-- since this meant I probably wouldn't reach my goal, but I also felt safe, which was all that mattered to me. I settled for glancing in his direction every once in a while.
It wasn't until Ed said something, something so common and mundane, that the panic set back in.
"I'm getting kind of hungry."
Normally, I would reply, "Cool, me too," and we would have found a place to eat.
That wasn't the case this time. We couldn't leave. I hadn't gotten the six hours I'd needed to steel myself.
We decided to leave anyway.
...However, we *coincidentally* had to pass by those same teenagers in order to get back to the hotel. I ended up lagging behind my cousin by about 20 feet trying to make up my mind. "Am I going up to them or not?" It felt like my brain was yelling YES and NO at the same time. Then, suddenly, once I was close to them, a wild thought appeared from out of nowhere:
"It's not like you'll ever see them again."
I went up to them.
"Um...hi," I started. (To be honest, I just want to end the story here.) After the few seconds--awkward, idle seconds-- it took for them to realize someone was talking to them, they looked up at me. And waited. They didn't say "hi" back, by the way.
"Uh, yeah, I just wanted to let you know that you're very attractive." I gestured to the guy with the dark hair. More seconds pass. He had this confused look on his face, then he looked at his friends...and then back at me.
Nope.
I was out of there.
I ran all the way to my cousin for safety because what the hell was that-
I let him know what I did and he found it cool, saying the awkward ending wasn't a big deal and it wasn't like I'd ever see him again anyway.
Ha.
I saw him again that night. And it turned out we were staying at the same hotel. And I kept seeing him in the lobby over the next few days. It was great.
:')
In the end, it was worth it. I may not have gotten a phone number, or a conversation (or an actual word), BUT I did get a story to tell. And for that, I am grateful. Sort of.
*
*
*
But yes! That was the intro/story for Week One. It was a little on the mild side, probably because it's been a few years and I'm like 98 percent over it, but that's because I'd rather the stories gradually get better (or worse, I guess) as the weeks progress. Also, if anyone would like to ease my misery, feel free to leave your own story in the comments (or just comment in general), and we can laugh at each other's pain.
Thanks for watching!
Welcome to a 6-week challenge I've created where I basically force myself to relive some of the cringiest moments of my life that I haven't blocked out permanently, although I could probably find blocked ones as well if I really dig.
I'd like to believe I started this blog in an attempt to reassure myself and others that humiliation is not always as horrible as we may think it is. I, for one, experience it everyday in different degrees, usually in the form of brief awkward moments, but, occasionally, I end up mentally scarred. My main goal with this challenge, however, is to encourage people to feel less shame (because feeling no shame is a bit of a stretch) when it comes to making fools of themselves, and I am willing to sacrifice a portion of my dignity for the cause. So, without further ado, I present to thee...
"A Failed Attempt at Summer Romance <3"
I often pick unfit times to be bold.
The summer of 2013 was a transitional period for me, both academically and personally. There were many changes I'd wished to make in my life, but above almost everything else, I just wanted to do something exciting. I wanted to have a story to tell, and the perfect opportunity had presented itself to me during a family reunion in Florida.
It all started with this cousin I have, whom I will refer to as Ed. He's a little less than a year younger than me, but much more confident and daring (the difference between us is not as drastic now, but he still wins).
We traditionally hang out about 90 percent of the time during these reunions and, on the first day of this particular reunion, we decided to head to the beach. It seemed like a great plan because 1) I wanted to swim in the ocean and 2) lots of people go to the beach. Being a 15-year-old who had never really dated anyone or been in a relationship (I refuse to count that two-week thing from sixth grade), I had this radical idea: I should flirt with a stranger today. After all, the closest I had ever come to accomplishing this goal was making extended eye contact with a person through a window (from the inside of a building).
...It was not as awkward as it may have sounded just now, by the way.
Anyway, my expectations for myself were unrealistically high when we first got there:
-Find someone
-Get to know them
-Hang out for the rest of the day
-Exchange numbers
Sounds simple enough, right?
Maybe in a world where good things happen to me.
I had honestly forgotten about my personal challenge for the first hour and a half, completely distracted by the water. It wasn't until my cousin and I moved closer to the shore that I began casually observing people on the beach. After a while, three teenagers (a girl and two boys, to be specific) caught my attention. I remember one of the two guys being...quite good-looking...
...and suddenly was reminded of my secret mission from earlier.
I decided to nonchalantly bring it up to Ed.
"Wow, that guy is really attractive."
Ed encourages me to "go talk to him."
Lol, no.
The cowardice had kicked in at this point, so I refused over and over as he egged me on for a good fifteen minutes before losing interest. I was kind of disappointed after he gave up --and eventually forgot I even mentioned the guy-- since this meant I probably wouldn't reach my goal, but I also felt safe, which was all that mattered to me. I settled for glancing in his direction every once in a while.
It wasn't until Ed said something, something so common and mundane, that the panic set back in.
"I'm getting kind of hungry."
Normally, I would reply, "Cool, me too," and we would have found a place to eat.
That wasn't the case this time. We couldn't leave. I hadn't gotten the six hours I'd needed to steel myself.
We decided to leave anyway.
...However, we *coincidentally* had to pass by those same teenagers in order to get back to the hotel. I ended up lagging behind my cousin by about 20 feet trying to make up my mind. "Am I going up to them or not?" It felt like my brain was yelling YES and NO at the same time. Then, suddenly, once I was close to them, a wild thought appeared from out of nowhere:
"It's not like you'll ever see them again."
I went up to them.
"Um...hi," I started. (To be honest, I just want to end the story here.) After the few seconds--awkward, idle seconds-- it took for them to realize someone was talking to them, they looked up at me. And waited. They didn't say "hi" back, by the way.
"Uh, yeah, I just wanted to let you know that you're very attractive." I gestured to the guy with the dark hair. More seconds pass. He had this confused look on his face, then he looked at his friends...and then back at me.
Nope.
I was out of there.
I ran all the way to my cousin for safety because what the hell was that-
I let him know what I did and he found it cool, saying the awkward ending wasn't a big deal and it wasn't like I'd ever see him again anyway.
Ha.
I saw him again that night. And it turned out we were staying at the same hotel. And I kept seeing him in the lobby over the next few days. It was great.
:')
In the end, it was worth it. I may not have gotten a phone number, or a conversation (or an actual word), BUT I did get a story to tell. And for that, I am grateful. Sort of.
*
*
*
But yes! That was the intro/story for Week One. It was a little on the mild side, probably because it's been a few years and I'm like 98 percent over it, but that's because I'd rather the stories gradually get better (or worse, I guess) as the weeks progress. Also, if anyone would like to ease my misery, feel free to leave your own story in the comments (or just comment in general), and we can laugh at each other's pain.
Thanks for watching!
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